Thanks to Beyond Meds for sending me this bang on article about examining your own parenting skills when trying to help your child. This mother is courageous. I am embarrassed about my own shortcomings as a parent. I haven't laid it all out for the reader and don't know if I can bring myself to do it. You would think less of me . . . I think less of me. Is it okay if I just point you in the direction of self-examination and you can trust me that I've been there, too?
ADD book by Katherine Ellison focuses on parent
Ellison questions whether it's "maternal sacrilege" to point to parental behavior as contributing to ADD. Whereas mothers in the 1960s were customarily blamed for a whole range of mental illnesses, including autism and schizophrenia, the psychiatric pendulum swung in the '80s and '90s to targeting brain chemistry - freeing mothers from guilt but leading to an uptick in pharmaceutical treatment.....
What sets Ellison's personal story apart from the countless ADD books is the degree to which she implicates her own parenting behavior - and her own ADD - as contributing to her son's behavior issues. She writes that "kids like Buzz do best with parents who aren't having tantrums right back at them."
Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2010/10/11/DDT41FKEFH.DTL&ao=2#ixzz12EjFR9NV
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Rossa,
ReplyDeleteThe link won't open?
Duane
Hi Rossa and all,
ReplyDeleteWhat a terrific example of responsible parenting you have given us, mind you I have no doubt that you can freely admit that you did not do it all on your own without the pioneering of others who have gone before you and so those of us privileged to grow in experience and wisdom beyond the levels known to our peers reckognising this may naturelly seek to assist others to reach even higher levels of fulfillement and enlightenment in their lives, something this blog has I'm sure done for many. So here is my sharing and I feel it is vital for me to mention the absolute necessity for having a forgiving and non accusing attitude towards all others in one's life and even the greater world.After all where the troubles of the world actually began and who really is the original cause of all the discord and misery that is the commom fare of virtually all people since records began is simply impossible to ever discern. the way it is is the way it is and we do well to remember that the word Satan transalates from the Syrian language to mean the accuser in English. Neither of my own parents ever understood my search for meaning and real answears beyond the boxes in which their heridity and experience imprisoned them, but they did do what they could do in terms of living up to their own highest understandings and visions of the way things are, and it has proven out that what they did do was enough If we can let ourselves be led in the process of finding out the truth for ourselves and we really do follow through and go all the way we must inevitabely recognise that in fact as far as we personnaly are concerned "Notthing is wrong" and it never has been, we have in ignoranc and personal failing to truly honour the best and highest principles of which we were aware brought all our experience upon ourselves once we have reached phisical maturity for better or for woese, and the world around it seems it has been for worse sooner or later for just about everybody. it really does'ent have to be that way and all that is required is sufficient willingness to take the first steps which we each one must sopmehow find it in themselves to take for ourselves. In fact there really are no exact precedents to tell anyone else what they need to do as each person and their life circumstance is unique that there is yet a perfect and viable way for each and every person no matter what the background is loudly and persistantly proclaimed feature af all the forms of nature nontheless the victorious tone set by the example of the truly great ones who have gone befor gives the proof that life really can be something most worthwhile.While yes each one is actually unique the differances in all people around the world are really not generally speaking all that great. We all share a fairly similiar biology and basic funcionality and in fact the honest person who lives a bit will surely find out that that the obstacles to meaningful self realization in the most wonderful sense are actually more or less common to all. Fear doubt lethargy shame and guilt. To strive to be genuine to be real is the best starting point that I know,and proves the mustard seed of the parable of Jesus which has the potential to outgrow all the other seeds should it be accepted. The perfect harmony of the heavenly state of long distant legend and spiritual scripture is within reach beyond the summit of the life lived in deepest longing for what is right , no matter what.
Noel Gaughan
noel.gaughan@kevnol.net
Thank you, Noel. Beautifully said. You have also linked the word Satan to "accuser." It makes sense that when people report hearing accusing voices which they believe to be Satan, it is likely a replay of a tape from childhood. It seems so obvious, you wonder why we have been sidetracked by drugs over empathy.
ReplyDeleteRossa,
ReplyDelete(not sure why the link didn't open at first, oh well)
IMO, ADD/ADHD can be symptoms of physical problems many times, ie nutrient deficiencies, environmental allergies...
A good link for parents -
foodforthebrain.org
On the relationship/parenting side, John Breeding, PhD has some good resources -
wildestcolts.com
ADHD in kids is a highly political label - complete with additional federal funds to local school districts for any child who is given this label... Also, it is a label that is hardly non-dicriminatory - given to boys, almost exclusively....
Having worked in the public schools, in special ed classrooms, etc... I would say that exercise goes a long, long way... and the other thing is to look at the symptoms as gifts, because being easily bored and distracted, also means being highly creative...
These kids are the best... Difficult, challenging, nerve-racking... but, you gotta love their spirits!
My best,
Duane