The comment comes from Marian in answer to a previous post. "How "delusional" is it really when people think they're Jesus?"
I am struck by insight of this question. Jesus was persecuted by authorities and taunted by crowds during his brief life and was nailed to a cross after being forced to carry it through the streets. He was society's ultimate victim or scapegoat.
If someone sees himself as Jesus Christ, what is the person really saying about himself?
Last night I was sweeping the kitchen floor and putting the debris into the dustpan. Chris was there and suddenly said, "that's how I feel you are with me," or something to that effect. He said it very obliquely, almost as if he was encouraging me to take it as a joke. I am used to Chris acting like the ultimate victim, but I was annoyed because (a) it hurt; (b) it seemed like a stupid remark and (c) I thought (hoped) he was moving beyond being a victim.
So, I challenged him. I didn't say that I thought the remark was stupid, I didn't rail on about him moving beyond victimhood, I agreed with him that he probably does think I want to get rid of him. He must feel this at a very basic level or he wouldn't say it. At least he is saying it, obliquely, yes, but at least he is putting himself out there in ways that perhaps he felt powerless about before. I hope he is learning to deal with this by working with Dr. Stern. I hope, I hope.
I find some hope in Anonymous's reply to another post. He writes:
"A belief is only real to the extent that we maintain it and continue to feed and nurture it within our own reality. It is definitely a false belief to feel victimized or unloved. As callous as it may sound once the act(s) which victimized the individual have been acknowledged there is no value in justifying the individual's continuing status as a victim. There is considerable value in helping that individual find a pathway, and an interpretation, where they feel empowered and loved."
A child must be ordered to behave from their parent (who else is going to do it?), as well as given freedom from their parent. It is a balance (control to freedom) based on trust , age and past experience. There are parents that overcontrol and undercontrol.
ReplyDeleteParents have to be a boss to their child and the child will not like the power the parent has over them. Don't let your child make you feel guilty, to get out of work-growing up.
I totally agree, and it's a balancing act.
ReplyDelete