Postlude: For behold, darkness shall cover the earth (G.F. Handel) Soloist: Christopher Forbes
On Sunday Chris sang the Postlude in church, accompanied on the organ by our choir director (his voice teacher)
This is a lengthy, difficult piece. He got a standing ovation.
Two weeks ago Chris had a one hour telephone counseling session with career intuitive Sue Frederick. Blending numerology, astrology and her own intuition, she introduced the idea to him that he was, among other things, a non-traditional healer and suggested several scenarios that he should consider: Acting, healing, sound therapy and psychology. She's big on using your pain as your fuel. She could definitely see him on stage.
Then, seemingly out of the blue last week, Chris's sound therapist called to ask Chris if he would be interested in enrolling in his new course in sound technology. Of course he would! Last week Chris also attended the first rehearsal for Gilbert and Sullivan's Trial by Jury. He's in the chorus.
Chris gets discouraged at times because he thinks that he doesn't know what he wants to do in life and life is passing. He's thinking he'll never catch up. I suggested that he drop the pretext that he is not on his life path and consider the evidence that he is already on it and has put years into it. I've suggested to him to stop worrying about making money through traditional career choices, but that he should consider upping his game by taking more voice lessons and maybe some acting lessons.
Here's a recap for newcomers to this blog. In my blog I try to convey a positive message for parents whose child has been given a diagnosis of schizophrenia. The road through recovery is often longer than we would hope, and there are ups and downs. Chris is now 27 years old. He did not finish his undergraduate university program. He left university seven years ago and has been living at home ever since. He doesn't have have a job. So far he has activities.
If you are new to schizophrenia, seven years seems like a long time not to be employed and to be living at home with Mom and Dad. This is probably not what you are hoping to hear. Some people recover relatively quickly using megavitamins, but a lot do not. There are many complicating reasons why instant recovery does not happen and my blog demonstrates many of these reasons. For people like Chris, and very likely your son or daughter, recovery takes time, a lot of time. I learned the hard way what happened to Chris when I grew impatient with his progress. I delayed his recovery through my impatience.
In order to do right by recovery, rather than focusing on a timeline, think of your child and yourself as embarking on a long, but exciting journey. Getting it right can't be rushed.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
The Singing Detective
One of Ian's and my favorite films is the 1986 BBC television series The Singing Detective. Mystery writer Phillip Marlow is victim to a gruesome skin disease, the psychological origins of which go back to his childhood. He's suffering from writer's block and has landed back in the hospital with a particularly nasty flare-up of his condition.
In this memorable scene, the doctors and nurses gather round him while he is stretched out, hot, sweating and nearly naked on his hospital bed. Marlow begins to hallucinate.
There are many versions on YouTube of the Dry Bones musical interlude, but this one is surely the best.
In this memorable scene, the doctors and nurses gather round him while he is stretched out, hot, sweating and nearly naked on his hospital bed. Marlow begins to hallucinate.
There are many versions on YouTube of the Dry Bones musical interlude, but this one is surely the best.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Parental anosognosia
anosognosia: Lacking insight that you are mentally ill
My inspiration (ramble?) for today's blog was prompted by reading about the Elizabeth Smart case. Elizabeth Smart was the fourteen year old girl who was kidnapped a few years ago and subjected to daily rape by her captor. The article talked glowingly of how well adjusted she is these days because of the strong support by her family and the fact that "they believed what she told them." In cases of trauma, a psychologist wrote, it is important to believe that what the victim is telling you is true. Believing Elizabeth Smart doesn't look like that much of a stretch to most people. I wouldn't give the family too much credit here for psychological insight. Of course what she told them is true. The supporting evidence is right there in the open.
Well, we all know that apparently this sage advice doesn't apply to mental health. As faithful reader of this blog, Marian, points out, people "get" the origins of physical trauma, they don't "get" the origins of mental trauma. There are many parents who believe in something called "serious mental illness." I feel very sorry for their relatives who spend a lot of time in psychiatric institutions not getting better. I suspect they remain there because their voices are not heard by the people who count -- their parents. The parent prefer to believe their relatives are seriously mentally ill, and rage is what they get in return.
What parent would sit by and let their child languish for years in an asylum? There is something very strange going on with parents who allow this to happen. They are washing their hands of their relative, but they don't see it this way, of course. From the way many of them go on about how hard it is to see this happen to their troublesome relative, you'd think it was all about them. Yes, it is all about them.
The parents suffer from anosognosia, a refusal to admit that they are deluding themselves and are in need of help. The children are trying to tell them there is something wrong if they would only believe them, and the parents aren't listening.
My inspiration (ramble?) for today's blog was prompted by reading about the Elizabeth Smart case. Elizabeth Smart was the fourteen year old girl who was kidnapped a few years ago and subjected to daily rape by her captor. The article talked glowingly of how well adjusted she is these days because of the strong support by her family and the fact that "they believed what she told them." In cases of trauma, a psychologist wrote, it is important to believe that what the victim is telling you is true. Believing Elizabeth Smart doesn't look like that much of a stretch to most people. I wouldn't give the family too much credit here for psychological insight. Of course what she told them is true. The supporting evidence is right there in the open.
Well, we all know that apparently this sage advice doesn't apply to mental health. As faithful reader of this blog, Marian, points out, people "get" the origins of physical trauma, they don't "get" the origins of mental trauma. There are many parents who believe in something called "serious mental illness." I feel very sorry for their relatives who spend a lot of time in psychiatric institutions not getting better. I suspect they remain there because their voices are not heard by the people who count -- their parents. The parent prefer to believe their relatives are seriously mentally ill, and rage is what they get in return.
What parent would sit by and let their child languish for years in an asylum? There is something very strange going on with parents who allow this to happen. They are washing their hands of their relative, but they don't see it this way, of course. From the way many of them go on about how hard it is to see this happen to their troublesome relative, you'd think it was all about them. Yes, it is all about them.
The parents suffer from anosognosia, a refusal to admit that they are deluding themselves and are in need of help. The children are trying to tell them there is something wrong if they would only believe them, and the parents aren't listening.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Tiger mothers
Many of you may already know about the stir that Yale law professor Amy Chua has created with her latest book, The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.
Amy Chua wrote an article that appeared in the WSJ this past week. It has garnered a record number of comments (6999 at last count), almost all of them are irate. The book sales and media coverage look promising.
Here's just a sample of what readers responded so vehemently to:
The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her "beautiful and incredibly competent." She later told me that made her feel like garbage.)
She employed weeks and weeks of military style tactics to force her daughter to perfect a difficult piano piece. The kid just wasn't getting it, apparently.
I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts.
This style of extreme parenting is not uncommon in Chinese mothers, yet their offspring experience pychosis no more and no less than the population at large. For those who claim that schizophrenia is due to mixed messages, Ms. Chua's husband is Jewish American and by all accounts wanted her to lighten up. (Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu—which I wasn't even doing, I was just motivating her—and that he didn't think threatening Lulu was helpful.)
All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.
Amy Chua wrote an article that appeared in the WSJ this past week. It has garnered a record number of comments (6999 at last count), almost all of them are irate. The book sales and media coverage look promising.
Here's just a sample of what readers responded so vehemently to:
The fact is that Chinese parents can do things that would seem unimaginable—even legally actionable—to Westerners. Chinese mothers can say to their daughters, "Hey fatty—lose some weight." By contrast, Western parents have to tiptoe around the issue, talking in terms of "health" and never ever mentioning the f-word, and their kids still end up in therapy for eating disorders and negative self-image. (I also once heard a Western father toast his adult daughter by calling her "beautiful and incredibly competent." She later told me that made her feel like garbage.)
She employed weeks and weeks of military style tactics to force her daughter to perfect a difficult piano piece. The kid just wasn't getting it, apparently.
I rolled up my sleeves and went back to Lulu. I used every weapon and tactic I could think of. We worked right through dinner into the night, and I wouldn't let Lulu get up, not for water, not even to go to the bathroom. The house became a war zone, and I lost my voice yelling, but still there seemed to be only negative progress, and even I began to have doubts.
This style of extreme parenting is not uncommon in Chinese mothers, yet their offspring experience pychosis no more and no less than the population at large. For those who claim that schizophrenia is due to mixed messages, Ms. Chua's husband is Jewish American and by all accounts wanted her to lighten up. (Jed took me aside. He told me to stop insulting Lulu—which I wasn't even doing, I was just motivating her—and that he didn't think threatening Lulu was helpful.)
All decent parents want to do what's best for their children. The Chinese just have a totally different idea of how to do that.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Premature employment
The news media has revealed many details about Jared Loughner's mental state that resulted in the tragic scene in Arizona.
In addition to be dismissed from his community college, Loughner also was trying in vain to find work. He applied for, and never heard back from, sixty-five low level positions. You can only imagine what this did to his already deteriorating state of mind.
People who are psychotic or in the fledgling stages of recovery, by and large, are in no shape for the competitive job market. This simple observation doesn't seem to be widely appreciated. Mark Vonnegut wrote in The Eden Express that the person is too wrecked to do much of anything for at least one year, and Vonnegut appeared to be someone who recovered relatively quickly from his first bout with psychosis. One year is optimistic for a return to an educational facility or the job market. Medication or no medication, five or ten years or more is often more realistic for the time it takes to regain your bearings.
The family often fails to understand this need for time and begins to champ at the bit when they feel that enough time has elapsed. Parents, often in fear, anger and frustration, push their children to go out and bring in income. They think that it will help the child rediscover self-esteem and, more selfishly, it will make-up for the expense of keeping the child at home. Home life becomes more Darwinian the longer the adult child stays at home with nothing to do. Families' patience is taxed in the absence of understanding. One of the criticisms of NAMI is that it is said to lower people's expectations for their own recovery because it sees the person as chronic and in need of a lifetime of support. That's the low side of expectations. The high side of expectations may not be much better, because it pushes people to do things before they are ready.
There is a fine line between being realistic and crushing all hope. Conventional psychiatric care does a poor job of managing these expectations, no matter where you live. When someone has a breakdown, there is a huge negative impact on the dreams and aspirations of the parents for their child. As a parent, I wanted to see Chris return to "normal" as soon as possible, and to succeed at the benchmarks that his peers were setting. I wanted him to resume university and I was devastated when the doctors questioned all of this in a way that said to me his condition was chronic. The more negative they were, the more I fought against it, and pushed Chris to do things that he just wasn't ready for.
A better way to address expectations during the crisis of psychosis is to be of the mindset that recovery is expected, but just not now. This would go a longer way in curbing the panic of most parents and it would be truthful. Notice I said, expected, I didn't say "hoped for." "Hoped for" recovery introduces doubt. People will automatically translate "hope" in their minds as a long shot, something that happens to other people.
Faith healing doesn't work with hope or belief. It works with firm expectations that healing will happen because of faith that God's grace is taking place. Family members should be given a different story than the bleak story they are currently fed. The story should be uplifting.
In addition to be dismissed from his community college, Loughner also was trying in vain to find work. He applied for, and never heard back from, sixty-five low level positions. You can only imagine what this did to his already deteriorating state of mind.
People who are psychotic or in the fledgling stages of recovery, by and large, are in no shape for the competitive job market. This simple observation doesn't seem to be widely appreciated. Mark Vonnegut wrote in The Eden Express that the person is too wrecked to do much of anything for at least one year, and Vonnegut appeared to be someone who recovered relatively quickly from his first bout with psychosis. One year is optimistic for a return to an educational facility or the job market. Medication or no medication, five or ten years or more is often more realistic for the time it takes to regain your bearings.
The family often fails to understand this need for time and begins to champ at the bit when they feel that enough time has elapsed. Parents, often in fear, anger and frustration, push their children to go out and bring in income. They think that it will help the child rediscover self-esteem and, more selfishly, it will make-up for the expense of keeping the child at home. Home life becomes more Darwinian the longer the adult child stays at home with nothing to do. Families' patience is taxed in the absence of understanding. One of the criticisms of NAMI is that it is said to lower people's expectations for their own recovery because it sees the person as chronic and in need of a lifetime of support. That's the low side of expectations. The high side of expectations may not be much better, because it pushes people to do things before they are ready.
There is a fine line between being realistic and crushing all hope. Conventional psychiatric care does a poor job of managing these expectations, no matter where you live. When someone has a breakdown, there is a huge negative impact on the dreams and aspirations of the parents for their child. As a parent, I wanted to see Chris return to "normal" as soon as possible, and to succeed at the benchmarks that his peers were setting. I wanted him to resume university and I was devastated when the doctors questioned all of this in a way that said to me his condition was chronic. The more negative they were, the more I fought against it, and pushed Chris to do things that he just wasn't ready for.
A better way to address expectations during the crisis of psychosis is to be of the mindset that recovery is expected, but just not now. This would go a longer way in curbing the panic of most parents and it would be truthful. Notice I said, expected, I didn't say "hoped for." "Hoped for" recovery introduces doubt. People will automatically translate "hope" in their minds as a long shot, something that happens to other people.
Faith healing doesn't work with hope or belief. It works with firm expectations that healing will happen because of faith that God's grace is taking place. Family members should be given a different story than the bleak story they are currently fed. The story should be uplifting.
Monday, January 17, 2011
De-escalating worry
“The more people became shocked and worried about him, the more withdrawn he got,” Ms. Castle said.
This quote about Jared Loughner is from the NY Times. It is a huge indictment of the way people in a mental health crisis are treated, before they seek help and even after seeking help. While I would like to think that medical help will alleviate the shock and worry attitude directed to the person, unfortunately, medical intervention usually exacerbates it. Shock and worry is an example of high expressed emotion and is studies show it leads to people doing less well. High expressed emotion (and its opposite, low expressed emotion) is a term that few parents are familiar with.
If we view the person as weird, sick, creepy, we hinder the person's integration back into society. I have written many times on my blog about how the doctors in our case used language and body gestures that escalated my worry about my son, which I, of course, projected right back onto him. I can only imagine how Chris must have felt getting a double dose of worry.
Actually, I know how Chris felt. The more my husband and I projected worry and concern, the more nervous and isolated he got. His last relapse taught us a huge lesson in this regard. We decided to leave him largely to himself, safe to do and think what he wanted to in the comfort of our home, free to speak or not to speak, free to fail a course, free of our daily cheerful inquiries about his state of mind. Positive concern is still concern, so we backed off talking glowingly about his future prospects. We say very little. Chris is thriving under this approach. He still has a way to go in his rebuilding project, but he's getting there.
The medical profession and its friend Pharma, has made schizophrenia a very high expressed emotion condition. They tell us it is the "most serious mental illness." I didn't know any better at the time and I took them at their word. Being "the most serious mental illness" implies that medical professionals, the people in white coats, are the best people to handle psychosis. The medical professionals, of course, administer drugs, which immediately ups the ante and makes schizophrenia a "very, very serious mental illness."
Everybody agrees that mental health care needs a huge overhaul. I can't think of a better way to express the basis for any treatment philosophy and practice than repeat the quote from the top of this page.
“The more people became shocked and worried about him, the more withdrawn he got.”
You can also interpret the quote as one of scale, meaning "the more people" who Loughner shocked and worried, the worse it got for him. For me, this is a clear call to de-escalate a mental health crisis as soon as possible by creating an environment of optimism within a small circle of caring. I have heard that the Open Dialogue Program in Finland does this well. Any large scale attempt to do the same generally falls victim to over-professionalization, almost by definition engendering a climate of fear and worry.
This quote about Jared Loughner is from the NY Times. It is a huge indictment of the way people in a mental health crisis are treated, before they seek help and even after seeking help. While I would like to think that medical help will alleviate the shock and worry attitude directed to the person, unfortunately, medical intervention usually exacerbates it. Shock and worry is an example of high expressed emotion and is studies show it leads to people doing less well. High expressed emotion (and its opposite, low expressed emotion) is a term that few parents are familiar with.
If we view the person as weird, sick, creepy, we hinder the person's integration back into society. I have written many times on my blog about how the doctors in our case used language and body gestures that escalated my worry about my son, which I, of course, projected right back onto him. I can only imagine how Chris must have felt getting a double dose of worry.
Actually, I know how Chris felt. The more my husband and I projected worry and concern, the more nervous and isolated he got. His last relapse taught us a huge lesson in this regard. We decided to leave him largely to himself, safe to do and think what he wanted to in the comfort of our home, free to speak or not to speak, free to fail a course, free of our daily cheerful inquiries about his state of mind. Positive concern is still concern, so we backed off talking glowingly about his future prospects. We say very little. Chris is thriving under this approach. He still has a way to go in his rebuilding project, but he's getting there.
The medical profession and its friend Pharma, has made schizophrenia a very high expressed emotion condition. They tell us it is the "most serious mental illness." I didn't know any better at the time and I took them at their word. Being "the most serious mental illness" implies that medical professionals, the people in white coats, are the best people to handle psychosis. The medical professionals, of course, administer drugs, which immediately ups the ante and makes schizophrenia a "very, very serious mental illness."
Everybody agrees that mental health care needs a huge overhaul. I can't think of a better way to express the basis for any treatment philosophy and practice than repeat the quote from the top of this page.
“The more people became shocked and worried about him, the more withdrawn he got.”
You can also interpret the quote as one of scale, meaning "the more people" who Loughner shocked and worried, the worse it got for him. For me, this is a clear call to de-escalate a mental health crisis as soon as possible by creating an environment of optimism within a small circle of caring. I have heard that the Open Dialogue Program in Finland does this well. Any large scale attempt to do the same generally falls victim to over-professionalization, almost by definition engendering a climate of fear and worry.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
The number 18
The New York Times ran a story today about the deteriorating mental state of Jared Loughner.
TUCSON — Officials at Pima Community College, where Jared L. Loughner was a student, believed that he might be mentally ill or under the influence of drugs after a series of bizarre classroom disruptions in which he unnerved instructors and fellow students, including one occasion when he insisted that the number 6 was actually the number 18, according to internal reports from the college. As for his remark that he did not have to go along with his instructor’s view that the number 6 was actually the number 6, a counselor, Delisa Sidall, wrote: “I reminded him that a complaint was made that he was disruptive in class and he said, ‘I was not disruptive, I was only asking questions that related to math.’ I asked him to tell me the question he asked? He said, ‘My instructor said he called a number 6 and I said I call it 18.’ He also asked the instructor to explain, ‘How can you deny math instead of accept it?’ ”
I am one of many people who firmly believe that the people labelled mentally ill are laboring under something cosmic. A quick check of an Indian numerology website gives a plausible clue for the cosmic consciousness that was overwhelming Loughner.
This website follows the teachings and preachings of the late Pandit Sethuraman.*
18 is the number of Mars; 1+8 = 9 (Mars). It is a number of war, strife and bloodshed and a number that denotes decline of Divine Grace and the ascent of rank materialism and selfishness. Look at the following names of cities (or countries) that have their names under the number 18
Mumbai (18) from Bombay (17)
Sri Lanka (6 + 12 = 18; 12 is also a sub-par number) = 18 from Ceylon (24)
Amritsar (18) from Amrut Sarovar (39) OR Amrit Sarovar (34)
Myanmar (18) from Burma (15)
In all these cases, the name was changed to an unfavourable number from an originally favourable one.
•Myanmar is ruled by the military junta. Burma was the rice bowl of the world; Myanmar is a begging bowl.
•Till the name was Ceylon, it was a prosperous and happy land. But once it was changed to Sri Lanka the ethnic problems surfaced as a violent movement that is going on even today.
•Bombay's name change to Mumbai has caused increase in violence; bomb blasts now occur once every year.
•Amritsar was bloody throughout the 90s; even the army (denoted by Mars - 9) entered the Golden Temple (loss of divine grace) fully denoting the significance that numbers hold.
Let us learn the importance of numbers - how they rule our lives and how by understanding them we can attain सुखः and समृद्धि
Was Loughner that far off by insisting that the number 6 was actually the number 18? The number 6 is the number 9 turned upside down. Upside down is how his world must have appeared to him at that moment.
When will mental health systems recognize that mental illness is an understandable and often insightful coping mechanism? When will individuals respond appropriately rather than further isolating the individuals by dismissing them as "creepy and hostile," as reported in the NY Times article. When will mental health systems and people reach out compassionately to those who are suffering before we see another replay of an all too-predictable scenario?
_______________
* A GLOWING TRIBUTE
"So far I was under the impression that Mathematics had only four facets, but this man - Pandit Sethuraman had revealed to me amazingly that it has a FIFTH facet too. Truly, he is great genius!"
Sri. M. VISVESVARAYA 3rd September, 1946 (Divan of Mysore State,; Famous Engineer)
TUCSON — Officials at Pima Community College, where Jared L. Loughner was a student, believed that he might be mentally ill or under the influence of drugs after a series of bizarre classroom disruptions in which he unnerved instructors and fellow students, including one occasion when he insisted that the number 6 was actually the number 18, according to internal reports from the college. As for his remark that he did not have to go along with his instructor’s view that the number 6 was actually the number 6, a counselor, Delisa Sidall, wrote: “I reminded him that a complaint was made that he was disruptive in class and he said, ‘I was not disruptive, I was only asking questions that related to math.’ I asked him to tell me the question he asked? He said, ‘My instructor said he called a number 6 and I said I call it 18.’ He also asked the instructor to explain, ‘How can you deny math instead of accept it?’ ”
I am one of many people who firmly believe that the people labelled mentally ill are laboring under something cosmic. A quick check of an Indian numerology website gives a plausible clue for the cosmic consciousness that was overwhelming Loughner.
This website follows the teachings and preachings of the late Pandit Sethuraman.*
18 is the number of Mars; 1+8 = 9 (Mars). It is a number of war, strife and bloodshed and a number that denotes decline of Divine Grace and the ascent of rank materialism and selfishness. Look at the following names of cities (or countries) that have their names under the number 18
Mumbai (18) from Bombay (17)
Sri Lanka (6 + 12 = 18; 12 is also a sub-par number) = 18 from Ceylon (24)
Amritsar (18) from Amrut Sarovar (39) OR Amrit Sarovar (34)
Myanmar (18) from Burma (15)
In all these cases, the name was changed to an unfavourable number from an originally favourable one.
•Myanmar is ruled by the military junta. Burma was the rice bowl of the world; Myanmar is a begging bowl.
•Till the name was Ceylon, it was a prosperous and happy land. But once it was changed to Sri Lanka the ethnic problems surfaced as a violent movement that is going on even today.
•Bombay's name change to Mumbai has caused increase in violence; bomb blasts now occur once every year.
•Amritsar was bloody throughout the 90s; even the army (denoted by Mars - 9) entered the Golden Temple (loss of divine grace) fully denoting the significance that numbers hold.
Let us learn the importance of numbers - how they rule our lives and how by understanding them we can attain सुखः and समृद्धि
Was Loughner that far off by insisting that the number 6 was actually the number 18? The number 6 is the number 9 turned upside down. Upside down is how his world must have appeared to him at that moment.
When will mental health systems recognize that mental illness is an understandable and often insightful coping mechanism? When will individuals respond appropriately rather than further isolating the individuals by dismissing them as "creepy and hostile," as reported in the NY Times article. When will mental health systems and people reach out compassionately to those who are suffering before we see another replay of an all too-predictable scenario?
_______________
* A GLOWING TRIBUTE
"So far I was under the impression that Mathematics had only four facets, but this man - Pandit Sethuraman had revealed to me amazingly that it has a FIFTH facet too. Truly, he is great genius!"
Sri. M. VISVESVARAYA 3rd September, 1946 (Divan of Mysore State,; Famous Engineer)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Subscribe To
Posts
All Comments