What is important to keep in mind when approaching alternative therapies is that you don't usually know in advance how a particular therapy will benefit you. It's not like taking an antibiotic for a known infection, where you can expect that when you finish the course of treatment there will be no more infection. Instead, depending on your specific condition, you may hope for a greater sense of ease, a better focus, a coming around to "self." These feelings are hard to objectively quantify and measure.
According to the shaman, trauma is registered in the cellular structure. Clearing the effects of trauma is the first thing that needs to be done in the cell before a closer medical look can be taken to see what the cell looks like "normally." The shaman can tell when in life your traumas occurred by examining a recent photograph showing shoulders and head. Time and matter are compressed information (energy), and we can re-live (go back to) and clear the trauma in the moment in time when the trauma occured by doing some simple exercises involving light and colors.
I sent photos of Ian, Chris and me to the shaman. He put them through a scalar energy device that measures energy as information and returned a mysterious report that said:
Ancestral – none
Pre birth 2.5, 5, 7 months
Life self 8, 16, 26
Life others 16, 24
Conflict transitions all colours
Prebirth 2, 4 > months
Life self 10, 20 30
Life others 25-30
Transition cycle – orange (crisis)
Conflict transitions old behaviour, conflict course all colours
Pre birth self 3, 5.5
Pre birth others 3.5, 5
Life line others 23, 40,
Life line self 13, 24-25, 30, 40
Conflict transitions all colours conflict course
The therapy involved placing the palm of my hand on a battery operated light source and a finger of my other hand on a plastic sheet containing pre-birth and lifeline charts with color bars corresponding to the colors of the chakras.
"Close your eyes and you are now at the point of conception," the shaman instructed me. "Think of what it is like." I thought about it, not really knowing what to think about. Then he instructed me to do the same for certain points pre-birth. Again, it was a struggle to think of anything relevant to my feeling while in my mother's womb. But, in scalar energy, taking yourself back in time by thinking of that point in time clears the trauma. Our cells know. The shaman then retraced the pattern of the chart using his own finger, feeling where there might be lingering resistance. I redid the exercise twice, and my own traumas no longer register resistance on the color charts.
The shaman maintains from having analyzed two photos of Chris and gone through his color charts with him that Chris's trauma that eventually resulted in his breakdown at the age of 20 occurred between the ages of 8 and 10. He has suggested a possible medical reason that may explain what happened to Chris. In the meantime he is doing more scans while I am planning to ask for Chris's medical records from when he was hospitalized.
We'll see where this latest alternative therapy takes us. In the meantime, I already am feeling one of its intended effects and I think I am observing the same in Chris. According to the shaman, Chris and I will experience a long overdue separation effect. This is probably what Carl Jung refers to as "individuation," "the process in which the individual Self develops out of an undifferentiated unconscious. It is a developmental, psychical process, the process whereby the innate elements of personality, the different experiences of a person's life and the different aspects and components of the immature psyche become integrated over time into a well-functioning whole."
For several days I've had an unrelenting sinking feeling when I think of Chris, as if a stone were dropping through the fiber of my being, dragging me down, down, down. It's as if I've been hit by something, and I wonder if it is aftershock of scalar energy. I woke up last night feeling intensely lonely for the old Chris. He has taken the giant psychic step forward of distancing himself from me. For the past few days he has stayed in his room a lot and avoids engaging in small talk. We argued when I got home from work yesterday. Chris had deliberately missed an eye test for a driver's permit and I accused him of only going through the motions of wanting to learn to drive a car in the first place. The argument was petty, but symptomatic of something tumultuous happening to Chris. He is more and more willing to express vexation with me and frustration with himself.
I feel like the umbilical cord has finally been severed.